Face the Fears

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...You must do the thing you think you cannot do." 

- Eleanor Roosevelt

So many times in life, we face things that could easily put us out of our comfort zone. And with each of these experiences we are faced with a choice. Do we face our fear and give it a try? Or, do we say "not this time" and retreat?

These choices we have to make, are presented to us for a reason. I believe that.

This week alone I've stepped out of my comfort zone twice. Was it easy? Definitely not. I was absolutely terrified and nervous each time.

Both times I got this swirling feeling in my stomach that kept twisting it into knots. I second guessed myself every step of the way. Saying, "I can't do this", "I'm not good enough", "What am I getting myself into?". Every instinct of me said to retreat and give it a try some other time.

But, how do we know we'll be given another chance to try? We don't. Which is why when we are faced with these opportunities, we must take them, no matter how scary, nerve wracking, or uncomfortable they may feel.

I haven't always been good about living my life this way. I often times flip back and forth between having the courage and then choosing to sit at home wrapped up in the comfort of my favorite blanket.

It was a conversation I had Saturday, with my boyfriend, that really got me thinking of how I need to face some fears and really step out of my comfort zone. If I don't, I may never have some things that I really want in life.

So what are the things that I've face this week?

First, I went to the gym with my boyfriend yesterday.

Now I know what most of you must be thinking. How in the world could that be facing a fear? It wasn't necessarily a fear, but it was definitely out of my comfort zone. Going to the gym is not something I do with someone I'm dating. I guess I have always seen it as I won't be able to do everything they do. I'll be weak. I won't be seen as attractive because I'll struggle. And I felt every single one of these things all the way up until he threw me on the first machine. I was so far out of my comfort zone. I'd never worked out in a gym before. If I was exercising it was an actual sport I was doing. I had officially stepped into a world that was foreign to me. I think the only way I got through it was because I had someone I trusted, standing by my side the entire hour, cheering me on.  He believed in me the entire time, whether it was that I'd be able to finish every rep, do a certain level or weight, or go a particular distance. I had to keep reminding myself why I wanted to go to the gym in the first place. Yes, because it took me out of my comfort zone. But more importantly because I'm at the highest weight I've ever been. For quite some time now I've been extremely uncomfortable with how I look and feel. People will look at me and say, "you still look great" "you're still tiny". I'm the one who knows though that I've easily put on 20-25 lbs in the last two years. And if I want to lose that weight, I am the one who needs to do something about it. So going to the gym is a start in solving that issue, as well as trying to eat healthy.

The second thing that put me out of my comfort zone...I applied and had an interview for a higher position at my job. I'm talking 10am today, I had an interview.

The applying portion wasn't scary for me. You submit a form, they review it, tell you if you're qualified or if their interested, and then they offer you an interview. It's that interview that's the nail bitter. For some people it's the easiest thing to remain confident and like there's no way in hell you won't get this job. I am not that person. When I first got a job at this company, I was the least qualified person they had. They hired me because of my personality and the fact that even though I didn't know as much as everyone else, I was willing to learn and give it my best. So trying for a higher position is scary. I still don't know as much as everyone else but I've been trying to learn. I have learned a lot but I still know there is a ways to go. I didn't even know I'd be qualified for the job when I applied, but I still submitted the application. I'm not sure why, but getting turned down by a form you submit is a lot less of a blow than sitting in front of people, trying to sell yourself, and have them come to you in a week or so and say you weren't good enough. I work with three out of the four people on my interview board. You really hope that doesn't get awkward later on if you don't get the job too. But, if I didn't take the risk now and try for a higher position, would I ever feel comfortable  trying again in the future? Probably not. Even if I don't get the job, the interview experience is beneficial. I do have to admit that I felt the interview went well. I didn't hesitate on any question they asked and I felt like I was being myself. I didn't feel I had to put on a front to sell myself. They had liked my personality the first time around, no point in changing it. I'm up against one other person, who is most likely a male. I don't say that to be rude or sexist but I do work with all males. When I first got the job, they asked if I'd be okay with the fact that I'll be the only female. It's not something that bothers me. In fact, it feels great to know that I'm a female working in a field that is primarily male. It's okay to not always follow the norm.

I hope that everyone who reads this will think twice when faced with something that takes them out of their comfort zone. You never know what you'll get out of it. It could change your life for the better, it could take your career on a completely different path, or you may just feel awesome about yourself as a person. Fears are the thing that I think challenge us the most. In facing them we overcome doubt in ourselves. We have to believe, even if it's just a smidgen, that we can do it. We have the opportunity to do anything, as long as we try.