Goodbye College

Last night, at 10:10pm, I submitted my final college assignment. I'm not talking in the sense of I've completed this semester and will be back at it next semester. No, I mean I'm DONE. I have officially completed college and will graduate in May.

It was extremely odd to sign on my computer this morning and not have to log in to see what assignments were going to be due this week or what chapters I have to read. This class I just finished was the hardest I've had and it really tested whether I deserved my degree. It's one thing to take classes and pass them. It's another to take everything you've learned and apply it. That was what I had to do for this class. I had to take all my knowledge from my IT classes and apply it to a company (thanks Uncle Will). I'm proud knowing I rocked this class and that I can actually do everything I've learned. It's surreal to know that the end is here. 

This is something that has been a long time coming. For those that don't know, I didn't take the usual 4 year route. This journey started back in 2009 and it's been a roller coaster. There was a time when I wasn't sure if I'd actually get to this point. Somehow, someway, everything came together and I did it. It's finally here.

I wouldn't be here though without the help of some very important people. And to those people I'd like to say thanks...

Alex - My girl... You've been there since before day 1. I'll never look at a universal remote the same, let alone a pink one. If I didn't have you by my side, I have no idea how I could have done all this. You've seen the crazy ups and downs college can put a person through and you've always supported me. Who knew that a random roommate pairing Freshman year would end up changing our lives forever. From a million whiteboards, to the Chinese delivery man knowing us personally, Harry E, concerts, cries, laughs, french fries, Gilmore Girls, Rosanne, Everybody Loves Raymond, Grottos, DP dancing, to so much more. It's no wonder you're my maid of honor and sister.

Josh - You've seen me want to throw in the towel out of frustration so many times. Your motivation and support has meant a lot. Those nights where I'm ready to throw my computer across the room in frustration and you continuously cheer me on. You're always telling me that "I've got this" and reminding me that I'm almost done. You continue to push me as I look for a full time job. Reminding me not to settle and to go after what I want and what I deserve. I love you and I'm so grateful to have you by my side.

My Family - I always appreciated everyone asking how school was going and telling me congratulations when I shared a good grade or semester. You all have always been there and supported me. Thanks!

Mom & Dad - Wow, where do I even begin. Nothing I can say here will truly express how grateful and thankful I am for you two and the continued support you've given me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you two. You both always instilled in me the importance of school from a young age. You've always pushed me to strive towards things I didn't think I was capable of doing. You saw my nervousness of trying something new freshman year. You watched me barely stay above water when Sophomore year was complete crap and I had to move back home. Instead of thinking I was just looking for a way out of school, you trusted me when I said I needed to take a semester off and get tested for ADD. You've been patient and supportive. I didn't take the usual route and you both have never complained about that. You've always known that I could do this and you had no problem reminding me. You've allowed me to vent when teachers have been pricks or I worked my butt off and didn't get the grade I thought I deserved. Dad always knew when to bring me ice cream because he wouldn't see me for hours because I'd be up to my neck in a huge paper. You both always ask what I'm learning about and show interest, even if you don't always understand what I'm saying. You both get a sparkle in your eye and a huge smile every time I tell you I got a good grade on an assignment, test or in a class. Seeing how proud you were of me when I eased my way back into school and succeeded. That I've continued to succeed. Knowing I've made you both proud has been the biggest motivation. Most of the time, it's the only motivation I need. Making you two proud is all I've wanted to do. When I walk across that stage and receive my diploma, it'll be just as much for you two as it is for me. I guess that will be my way of saying thank you.

So where do I go from here? Many are curious if I'll go for my Masters. Unless the money becomes available for it, it isn't going to happen.

Now, it's time to plan our wedding!!! :)

Twists & Turns

Wow, it's been a while since I've written. I guess that's what happens when you're so busy with life. The last 2-3 months have been crazy but not as crazy as the last week.

You know those times in life where you wonder if you can really take anything else being added to your plate? We've all said, "I can't deal with another one of these" or "There's no way I can handle another project". There's tons of scenarios. And then someway, somehow, that something else gets added to your plate.

It always ends up feeling like a test to me. A test of my strength and ability to persevere.

When that "straw that breaks the camel's back" happens, the gut reaction is to stress and over think things. Maybe I'm the only one like that. It never seems to fail tho. I can tell myself numerous times "Don't Stress" when that bomb gets dropped and I usually just end up stressing more.

Every scenario starts playing in your head. You try and imagine every possible thing that could happen next and create a game-plan for each one. Don't ask me why this ends up happening, I can't explain it. I think people take comfort in the idea that if they think of every possibility first, whatever ends up happening next can't surprise them because they'll have already thought of it.

It's one thing to be worried or concerned. It's another to over think.

Over thinking just leads to a mess. Your head isn't in the best state to think rationally. You become irritable. You're already emotional. Small tasks start feeling like large tasks. It all adds up and turns into a ball of yuck. Before ya know it, your bad attitude starts rubbing off on other people which leads to arguments and frustration. I said it was a mess, remember?

We have to learn to step on the brake and stop the downward spiral. Track records show the normal process of stressing doesn't do any good, so it's time we change that habit. Over thinking won't change whatever happens next, it's likely going to happen either way. Life will always throw us twists and turns, we just have to take them one step at a time.

Save the emotional energy to plan and tackle the actual facts, not the what-ifs. Keeping your emotions in check will actually allow you to clearly think things through when the time comes. Continue to believe in the things you know to be real and important. Focus on those things until something can actually be done.

If you did get sucked into the do not enter zone called over thinking, it's okay, we've all done it. Take the time to reflect over the last few days or however long. Things probably haven't been going the way you thought and you may have even said some things you didn't mean or didn't think through. (I told you it's hard to think rationally during all this)  Apologize to those you may have hurt or offended. Try to relax and face what's ahead in a better way.

Maybe this will help you the next time a situation like this comes up. Maybe you're in a situation like this right now. Either way, stop being a worry wart.

Till next time!